‘Guess who's not invited ever again?’: Couple briefly meets a woman while on vacation in Japan and a year later, she demands to stay at their NYC home for five nights and wants payment for souvenirs she bought them

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  • On a visit to Japan, we met a nice woman in a park, and we chatted a bit, struck up a semi-friendship.
  • The following year, she was traveling to visit NYC, and as we lived close (an hour on Metro-North), could she stay with us (for free) and travel down each day?
  • 5 day trip, and she'd bring each of us a T-shirt. Sure thing, of course, be welcome, all that.
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  • Every day, she'd ask us to go down and help her find her way around. No, we were pretty busy, but one of us could move things around to go for one day.
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  • Would one of us like to go see the ballet that day? Sure! As a treat, we booked a room near the theatre for the night before.
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  • Went down, nice dinner (we paid), lovely suite of rooms in an old, gorgeous hotel (we paid), brunch at Sarabeth's (we paid), then the ballet (she actually paid for her own ticket), dinner in Grand Central (we paid) and back on the train home.
  • She gets ready to leave for the train to the airport the next day, gives (all 4) of us a t-shirt, then asks us to reimburse her for the t-shirts.
  • For real?!? "If you wanted me to pay for anything, you could have asked. I am asking for payment for the shirts." Guess who's not invited ever again?
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  • Good times.
  • originalmango Why didn't you just give her the shirts back? Or let her know you're not paying for them no matter what?
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  • OP Mommyshiba Oh, we didn't pay her for them. She was welcome to take them back, but she didn't have room in her suitcase. :-) Edit because thumbs
  • Sad_Orange6881 Years ago, my mother and I were invited to visit her niece, my much older cousin (late 50's) in Alaska. She wanted us to go camping & said she had rented a large camper trailer and would take us all through Alaska. So because of this, my mom paid for everything; gasoline, meals, and extras... in Alaska, where things are very expensive! My cousin did pay for one nice meal, and behold it was by far, the cheapest place we ate at. End of trip, somehow she gets my mother to go in with
  • OP Mommyshiba Oh wow. Your poor mom!
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  • insurancemanoz No no.. the reason I ask is because if it was a Japanese lady (which you've said it was), that is so imcredibly culturally out of step with how i would have expected her to behave.
  • OP Mommyshiba Us as well. We have many Japanese friends who would be horrified by this lady's actions. Like we were.
  • insurancemanoz Just out of curiosity, was this woman Japanese?
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  • OP Mommyshiba Yes, we'd met her in Sapporo. But nationality doesn't mean anything. No shade thrown or intended.
  • kennjen a bad apple in a bunch. I like to apologize on behalf of all the Japanese people.
  • OP Mommyshiba Not necessary. We met multitudes of wonderful people while we were there. My son taught English in Mito, and my daughter taught English in Toyama. Such a beautiful country, so many amazing people. I'd go back in a heartbeat.
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  • Welady We lived in Japan in the mid 80's. This really does not sound like the Japanese people we knew. Then, if you visited a Japanese colleague's home, and admires a vase, they would insist you take it home as a gift. That was their culture, very generous to guests and hosts. Wow, how times have changed.
  • OP Mommyshiba 100% We have Japanese friends that do this, it's nearly impossible to leave their homes empty- handed. This piece of work, however ... She did have some stories about people she'd known in America that she'd visited, but when we asked if she wanted to contact them to let them know she was in the States, she said that they didn't talk to her anymore. We should have listened.
  • Secure-Corner-2096 That is horrible behaviour. The few times I've been a guest in someone's home, I try not to be a bother, help with cleaning etc. and always leave a thoughtful gift and thank you card. The woman was extremely ride.
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  • biigpinky Oh wow... I'd be fuming. You literally hosted her for free, rearranged your schedules, paid for multiple meals, a hotel, brunch, and even covered the ballet night BUT she *still* wants you to pay for the T-shirts she brought as a "gift"? That's next- level entitlement. The audacity is unreal. You went above and beyond as a host and she treated it like you owed her extra. Honestly, cutting ties is not only justified, it's overdue. Some people truly have no concept of gratitude.
  • CaramelRottenApple >"If you wanted me to pay for anything, you could have asked. I am asking for payment for the shirts." "You mean the shirts nobody asked for? Keep them."
  • phdoofus Send her a venmo asking her to pay you back. with receipts. Just because she's gone doesn't mean she shouldn't pay you back, right? That window of opportunity doesn't close when they get on a plane.
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